Lately, I’ve just been in a grumpy mood. I’ve been holding in a lot of negative energy and it’s starting to really take affect on me and how my day goes, also how I treat others. Little things bother me and I get irritated really quick. A couple of things happened a few weeks ago and even though I’ve said I’m over it, it’s still eating me up inside. That’s what has been causing this, the other day someone told me to just “let it go.” I wanted to respond “I’m trying.” But then I had to stop and think…”am I really?”
The answer is No. I’m not really trying. At least not the right way. I’m just holding in all of the negative energy and hoping it will just go away on its own. It’s not helping, it’s making it worse. I’m not doing anything to release it. I’ve been letting this go on for so long, that I’ve lost motivation to do anything about it. But not anymore. I hate that it took someone telling me to “let it go” to actually do something about it.
Since moving here, I’ve pretty much been stress free, not a care in the world, feeling free and happy. But it started to wear off because I’m not taking care of myself. I haven’t been getting enough sleep like I used to. I haven’t been journaling, doing my yoga and meditation…everything I used to do to distress, clear my mind and release negative energy, I stopped. I can’t expect for what has been bothering me, to go away on it’s own, it just doesn’t work like that.
I keep saying that I’m going to go to this yoga studio and start getting back into my yoga practice, but I haven’t. I tried going once since living in Hawaii, but I was too late for class. I could have gone to the beach or a park to do yoga on my own, but I didn’t. I came home, grabbed something to eat, crawled into my bed watched Netflix and checked social media instead. It’s hard to practice yoga and meditation at home with the kids. There’s just so many distractions. I can’t relax.
I’m going to make a goal for myself to at least go to the yoga studio once a week to practice. The other days, I will find a spot on the beach, layout my mat, practice my yoga, meditate, and write in my journal. I also want to set a good sleep routine, say my daily prayers and study my scriptures daily. I feel that if I do this, I will feel better and if I continue to do this, I will be able to let go of things and not let them bother me.
This weeks mantra… Let. It. Go.