For The Guy Who Dates Me Next

I’m always going to overthink. I will read into everything you do or say. I don’t get my hopes up. Instead, I’m prepared for the worst because it always ends badly for me. In fact, I’m waiting for that call or text from you any minute saying that It’s not going to work out. Even if that’s not what is going to happen, I think that’s exactly how things will turn out. This is just how I am.
My past makes me this way and as much as I hate it, I can’t change it. I will always wonder if I’m good or pretty or interesting enough for you. I worry about every little thing I do or say because I don’t want to be pushy or clingy. I don’t want to scare you off.

I will wonder why you are with me and if you really are interested in me. Are you planning on sticking around or am I just someone to fill in that temporary loneliness?

I know that there will come a day that I won’t think these things anymore. I will know that you want to be with me because you actually do like me. And I will believe that that you aren’t going anywhere. Your intentions and feelings are honest and real.

But until then, please be patient with me. Sometimes, I will shut you out and unintentionally push you away. I don’t open up easily and if I do, it’s because I feel like I can trust you. I just need you to remind me that you’re here to stay. Tell me how much you care about me, even if you think I’m tired of hearing it. I promise I will never get tired of hearing it.

I might not be the prettiest, smartest girl and sometimes I feel like I don’t have a lot going for me, but I am the most loving and loyal girl you will ever meet. I will go out of my way to make sure you’re happy and that you know how much I care about you, that sometimes I forget about myself. All I ever wanted is to make someone happy. I want to love someone, but I also want someone to love me back.

I’ve never been loved back before. I’ve never been a priority or taken care of. I’ve never been treated like I’m special and one of a kind. I’ve been made so many broken promises.

It’s not fair how I’ve been treated, but as hard as it is for me to open up and give my heart to someone, there’s nothing I want more than to do that. I want to give you my whole heart. I hope that you stay around long enough to give me that chance.

Published by

Mariah Jean

27 year old blogger and wellness advisor. Located in South Carolina. On the path to self discovery, self love, learning to live a positive life and taking chances and sharing my experiences to help others do the same.

4 thoughts on “For The Guy Who Dates Me Next”

  1. LOVE your honesty, transparency, and humor!!! I hope you meet THE guy who busts all those past relationship molds, and KNOCKS your socks off! ❤
    ps – That's what I help my clients do! We disarm emotional triggers to old patterns that don't work and rebuild synaptic pathways that DO create a dream life and love! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

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